Next Surgery Date

My next surgery will be Tuesday, December 20th. 18 days from today. I have to say, I am little anxious about it. Last time I kind of freaked out just before I went into surgery. Let me explain why. Part of it was that the first surgery, although the surgery itself went well, they took them almost a whole day to get the pain under control and being at a high level of pain for that amount of time is extremely hard to deal with. Then, the anesthesiologist was a butt head and kept saying that I am choosing to die (cause I won't take blood). Yah, cause that's why I am doing all these surgeries, so I can die. He would not listen to any of the many alternatives to blood transfusions either. It was unnerving and by the time they were about to wheel me into surgery, I was so anxious I almost jumped off the gurney and told them to forget the whole thing, I am not going in. Thankfully a dear friend and elder in our congregation noticed something was wrong and asked to speak to me alone. He was very calming and as he said a prayer with me his words slowly took away the anxiousness that I was feeling. Now, I am afraid that anxiousness will come back and he won't be there to soothe me. I am trying real hard not to think of this incident but it keeps coming to mind. I guess the next couple weeks, I need to work on relaxing and letting it go. I have made it this far, I can do it one more time. I just got to breathe.....