All is Well.........

I almost hate to actually say "all is well" but considering what I have been through this past few years, I actually feel like it is. My third surgery of 2011 was December 20th and with the exception of the nurse that couldn't seem to get my IV line in (took 3 tries), all went extremely well. The surgery itself was only 45 minutes. I had two weeks off work and am now back full time which is a little bit much but I can already tell it has made a difference. I don't have that pulling pain I had before on my bottom every time I sat for any length of time.

This year, my goal is to stay out of all hospitals and emergency rooms, to lose some weight and try to gain some measure of health.

Blood Issues

It has been a tough week so far. My surgery is next week and things have been....well challenging . I got my period last Monday (11 days ago). No biggie, plenty of time for it to go away before surgery right? WRONG. Last Friday, it even kicked it up a notch and got extremely heavy (like haven't been this heavy since high school heavy), then Monday, it kicked it up ANOTHER notch. Now we are trying take a shower and get ready for work and the bathroom looks like a scene from a horror movie. Just dumping out. Now I know, it can't be like this for my surgery and this is NOT normal so I call the nurse on line who tells me I have to come in. I see the OBGYN on call and she listens to my symptoms and tells me this is indeed NOT normal and wants me to get an interior and exterior ultrasound right away and double the use of my current hormone pill. So, Tuesday I go in for the ultrasound. Results are good, nothing looks to be out of the ordinary. "whew". Unfortunately, the blood flow still WAYYY out of control. Wednesday 5am as the blood is pouring out of me, I am on the phone with the Triage nurse. She is concerned and wants me to go to ER. I've been burned on this one before. I know there is nothing they are going to do in ER to help me and I am not paying $250.00 copay for nothing. So, she has the on call OBGYN Dr. call me. I explained all that had been happening and she said she could give me a pill that is supposed to stop the blood flow in one or two days. Cool. Now we are talking. All are happy. I picked up the pill after my pre-op apt. yesterday and took the first one (you take two a day). This morning I woke up and almost NO blood from the night time. wheeww hooo. it is working. After breakfast, I took my second pill (first one for the day), by 9:00am, I can feel the cramping come back and the blood pouring out. UUUGGGG It doesn't seem quite as bad as before but still there. SO frustrating. If I am still bleeding tomorrow morning I am supposed to go back to the DR. Please, please PLEASE make it STOP!!!!

Next Surgery Date

My next surgery will be Tuesday, December 20th. 18 days from today. I have to say, I am little anxious about it. Last time I kind of freaked out just before I went into surgery. Let me explain why. Part of it was that the first surgery, although the surgery itself went well, they took them almost a whole day to get the pain under control and being at a high level of pain for that amount of time is extremely hard to deal with. Then, the anesthesiologist was a butt head and kept saying that I am choosing to die (cause I won't take blood). Yah, cause that's why I am doing all these surgeries, so I can die. He would not listen to any of the many alternatives to blood transfusions either. It was unnerving and by the time they were about to wheel me into surgery, I was so anxious I almost jumped off the gurney and told them to forget the whole thing, I am not going in. Thankfully a dear friend and elder in our congregation noticed something was wrong and asked to speak to me alone. He was very calming and as he said a prayer with me his words slowly took away the anxiousness that I was feeling. Now, I am afraid that anxiousness will come back and he won't be there to soothe me. I am trying real hard not to think of this incident but it keeps coming to mind. I guess the next couple weeks, I need to work on relaxing and letting it go. I have made it this far, I can do it one more time. I just got to breathe.....

About that

Remember last month when I said I had a minor set back. Well..... technically, it is minor but (I just love using that word now) I saw my surgeon today and it seems I need to have a revision of the perineal scar. What that means in laymans terms is, they have to go back in and readjust the scar tissue on my butt so it doesn't pull so tightly. It has been causing me too much trouble to just leave it and I would like to live as normal of a life as possible (as normal as you can be with a bag of poop attached to you and your butt sewn shut).

The surgery has not been scheduled yet but (there it is again) I will get it done this year as my out of pocket has already been met. We are looking at mid December. Soooo, I tried to stay out of the hospital but (wow, one more time) it seems to keep beckoning me. It will be a in/out surgery so I can rest for two weeks at home afterwards.

I will keep you posted on the official surgery date.

Minor Setback

As I said in my last blog, I am starting to be more active. I notice the last few days my bum was getting sore. Last night when I went to squat down to do cat litter, I felt my bottom ripped some. Now the doctor had told me this could happen and not to panic. So I didn't panic. I did however feel it get much more sore after that. I could now feel some pain walking and alot more sitting. I decided I better put put something on it so I don't get an infection so I did that. It is better today but still sore. I will just have to keep putting salve on it and cool it on the squatting. Over all I feel this is minor and there could be much worse things like ending up back in the hospital. I still feel like I am doing pretty darn good so I will just keep on a truckin'.

Slow but Steady

An old friend called me today and asked me how I was doing. I thought for a minute and it occurred to me that I was doing well. Really well. Some things are still hard for me but overall I am recouping and every day gets just a little bit better. The energy level is good, the stamina is slowly improving and overall I actually feel good. Little improvements every day. My hands are not quite so numb and can clean the house for an hour before getting exhausted. I am running more errands and in general getting more things done and getting out and having more fun. This is the first time in years that I actually thought I might have a chance at some normallicy. Up untill now I just wasn't sure. Now I am and it is a GOOD feeling! I still have a dozen different things wrong with me but for me- this is normal. (-;

The B12 results

o.k. I know you all have been waiting so here it is, the B12 shot results. That Friday that I got my first shot I ran a few errands on my way home from the shot and then took a nap. Then I went to an outdoor concert and I made it a whole hour. That seemed pretty good to me. The best part is I didn't get sick as some people said could happen the first day or so. The next night (Saturday), I went to another outdoor concert and made it two hours and felt fantastic. This time I really felt the shot had done it's thing. The third night (Sunday), I pushed it and went to another outdoor concert and was tired by the time I walked one block to get there. I made it an hour but sat 90% of the time. I have more energy but still don't have stamina. That will take a lot longer to achieve per my doctor.

This past weekend I took Friday off and went to the state fair. Yes, I dared go there. I did have to rent a scooter and even then only made it half the day but had a great time and I was OUT. Saturday, I went with some friends to a wine tasting, then out for ice cream and Sunday I got to go out on a lake for a boat ride.

During the week, I am still pretty much wiped by the time I get home from work so I don't do much then but getting through a full day at work is getting easier and easier to physically handle.

I think what I have learned is that the B12 definitely helped me with my energy level but stamina is a whole other thing. At least I can do more, just not for long periods of time. It still feels good to feel good and to get out. I feel like I have been trapped at home for so long and now if I have the opportunity to do something I am going to DO it. Slowly, my stamina will get better, I will just have to be patient for that.